>:(

whoa i am feeling so right

questions

what am i doing? why am i doing this? who am i? who will i be? who do i want to be? where am i? where are you? when is the day? why do you do this to me? what am i finding? what should i do? why should i do so? what did you do? what have i done? where will i be? why did i never do that? why did i do that? how can i do this? how can you do that? how are you? how am i? what are you thinking of? what am i waiting for? why do i have to wait? where does my path leads to? will we meet again somewhere? why did we lose our contacts? why should i love you? why should you leave me? how do i love you? how much you love me? why don't you leave me alone? why can't i have some privacy?

why can't you shut the hell up?

i watched the magdalene sisters yesterday. it wasn't meant to be the movie which makes you sad. it should be like a movie to let you know how harsh the history was. and it was until the end of the movie that i cried. the girls were beautiful, they did nothing wrong and yet they were the one to be blamed. that was so unfair. why did the people have to judge them with blindness? why didn't the open their eyes and see what's deep inside those girls? did they really deserve all this pain for just having a baby before marriage? did it worth it? why couldn't they find a place to feel sorry alone? why couldn't we just forgive the sin? are you pure enough to judge people? are you fair enough; are you strong enough; are you clean enough; are you optimistic enough?

Cause the hardest part of this
Is leaving you...

昨天跟媽、ellie和cecilia去尖東shopping。終於可以shopping了；終於得回我的iPod了。那798餐廳超正的說。買了兩件t-shirt，還有一條fairy頸鍊給快搬去boston的紫玲(frankie)。晚飯跟紫玲的家人和爸的朋友一起。

didn't speak much in the dinner. don't know exactly the reason but maybe i did feel bad. for all these years, i've been talking with frankie whenever we have meals with dad's friends. and that kind of connected us i guess. can't say we're like good friends but we are friends who talk sometimes. so it made me blue to know that she's leaving two weeks later. who will i talk to when i have to go to meet my dad's friends? no one. i'm going to be left out. i'm going to be a silent. i know i can open my mouth and just say something but things are different. they are mature, the adults. they are young, the children. i am on the edge between these two groups. weird, really.

and it sucks to know someone gets to go to somewhere i really want to visit you know? even worse when you know she's going to live there. boston, ha. i want to be there. i felt sour, i did. i felt bitter ever since i knew the news. and it made me feel bad for feeling this way. maybe she had a better reason to go there.

just sucks.